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When you decide not to breastfeed

Time for a story!

Here with @idaemmawiktoria who responded to our request when we were looking for more who wanted to share. She was 10 days overdue at the time so we hurried to ask her some questions.

Was your pregnancy as you imagined?

So much better actually! I had a terribly difficult pregnancy last time and after that did not even want to have more children. So when I got pregnant this spring I was quite nervous and almost ready that I would feel just as bad again, but thanks to a more positive mindset, guidance and a stronger mind, I have felt so much better and really got revenge on my previous pregnancy! I have felt strong and alert, but above all I have dared to trust my body and work with it instead of constantly thinking and analyzing.

How does it feel now?

At the time of writing, I am 10 days overdue and I guess I am a little restless. But I feel so energized and excited about the birth! My previous birth went so fast, so that in retrospect it felt like I was a little deprived of the experience itself, so I look extra forward to this one and hope that I have time to be more present! I look forward to seeing Henry become a big brother and grow up with his sibling. I also look forward to presenting the sibling to relatives and friends, as only my partner and I know the gender right now.

Have you thought about breastfeeding and what are your thoughts about it?

No, not really, I did not breastfeed Henry either as I suffered from a severe postpartum depression and D-MER (anxiety of breastfeeding) and have since had a lot of problems with such feelings connected to my breasts and nipples. Almost so that I get anxiety attacks when I wash in the shower. Therefore, for our sake, I have chosen not to breastfeed this time as it would be too much pressure. Thankfully, I haven’t felt stressed or guilty because of my decision, which I did a lot after Henry's birth. I sometimes wish I could breastfeed and envy everyone who managed to do so..

Have you prepared in any way?

This particular pregnancy has been more about preparing Henry for his sibling, including him and showing what is happening. I myself have prepared more with the help of my own brain, by going into myself, finding my relaxation and the positive thoughts. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was a little nervous and scared before the birth, precisely because you know how it feels after the last time. I have had great support from my midwife and have really been able to talk to her about how I feel and after that received the right guidance in how to reason in my head instead of just a lot of "think about".

Emma is the first person in our series where we follow a few people during some time so we will post more about her in the future and introduce some other people. So keep an eye out :)

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